Livin' On A Prayer

You opened last night's Compassionate Communication group with a biblical passage (or prayer?) whose import confused me.  It requested divine assistance--as I recall--in refraining from judging others. 

One frequently hears this expressed as a goal, among self-help types.  What could they mean by it?

One can't be an adult without judging others:  Evolution, history and culture have equipped us with various capacities and inclinations for evaluating others' abilities, social rank, intelligence, beauty, knowledge, allegiances etc.

During our species' evolution, having ever-more-useful [i.e. not necessarily 'objectively accurate'] abilities in evaluating others--across a variety of metrics--was certainly selected for. 

Learning that a particular human behavior was adaptive does not confer moral wholesomeness upon it, I know. But aspiring to 'never judge others' is simply impossible--and certainly not advisable, or hot.  (It's like asking one to stop liking Doritos, or Jenna Jameson.)

So what do people mean, when they announce their desire to judge others less--or not at all? Perhaps they're feeling judged or rejected and they're attempting to negotiate a bit more breathing room [via guilt-tripping]?  Or they're signaling their own membership among the hyper-considerate?

More often, they're expressing a desire to stop making dumb judgments, I soothsay.

Seeking to refrain from judging others based upon stupid criteria is a laudable aim.  But you're not going to initiate a useful lesson on 'refraining from judging others based on stupid criteria' by announcing a desire to never judge others:  That's the lede to the wrong story.  (See my little gift.)

So I pray Jesus (or PZ Myers or whomever) confers this KASA upon humankind:  that we engage in fewer stupid judgments of other people.  Better yet:  that we engage in more honest discussion concerning the formulation and implementation of said improved criteria--and have the courage to call out those who engage in the most egregious offenses against the sensible assessment of others.